On Today's episode, Dr. Karen Nelson is joined by Dr. Margaret Funk, one of Melrose's outpatient medical providers. Karen and Margaret will discuss Health at Every Size, a philosophy that directly challenges diet culture and can be a helpful mindset for those in recovery. Health at Every Size promotes the idea that all foods fit, we can move our bodies for the sheer joy of it, and that all bodies and sizes are accepted. Health At Every Size® and HAES® are registered trademarks of the Association for Size Diversity and Health and used with permission.
On Today's episode, Dr. Karen Nelson is joined by Dr. Margaret Funk, one of Melrose's outpatient medical providers. Karen and Margaret will discuss Health at Every Size, a philosophy that directly challenges diet culture and can be a helpful mindset for those in recovery. Health at Every Size promotes the idea that all foods fit, we can move our bodies for the sheer joy of it, and that all bodies and sizes are accepted.
Health At Every Size® and HAES® are registered trademarks of the Association for Size Diversity and Health and used with permission.
For a transcript of this episode click here.
Dr. Karen Nelson 00:02
Eating Disorders thrive in secrecy and shame. It's when we create a safe space for honest conversation that will find the opportunity for healing.
Dr. Karen Nelson 00:13
Hi, there. I'm Dr. Karen Nelson, licensed clinical psychologist at Melrose center, welcoming you to Melrose heals, a conversation about eating disorders, a podcast designed to explore, discuss, and understand eating disorders and mental health. On today's episode, we're going to do something a little bit different, we won't have a guest. Instead, I'm going to talk with you about mindfulness, what that word means, how it can help with recovery. And I'll even lead you through a brief mindfulness exercise.
Dr. Karen Nelson 00:45
Now, before I begin, I invite you to take a deep breath. And join me in this space.
Dr. Karen Nelson 00:55
Mindfulness really in its simplest form, is being deliberate about paying attention. I think we spend a lot of time in our kind of day to day life being distracted, there's a lot of demand for our time and attention. And mindfulness is about being deliberate about focusing and noticing, and paying attention to what is happening around you. And mindfulness becomes this deliberate way to kind of slow down and be quiet in our thinking. I think mindfulness has become so popular, it really is kind of arisen out of this place of, in so much demand for our attention, I think we can become overwhelmed. And so it makes sense to me that we're yearning for a place of calm and centeredness. Mindfulness is the practice of that, for us to kind of slow down, pay attention, be deliberate. And thinking about how to practice mindfulness really is kind of an open option. The piece that is often really helpful for me to think about mindfulness, I often attach the idea of mindfulness with breath work, or breathing, breath work is just a real fancy word for just deep breathing. When we get really stressed and overwhelmed, our breathing changes, our breathing has a tendency to be really shallow and quick. And that does a lot of things internally to us. And so mindfulness is a practice of, again, slowing down, noticing and paying attention. And really working to take some deep breaths, I have a really wonderful way to kind of practice breathing in a very intentional way. Like when we feel really stressed and overwhelmed, we might hyperventilate, we might start breathing really quickly, right, and my heart is racing. And so being intentional about slowing down and taking some deep breaths can be a really beautiful way to start practicing mindfulness and being deliberate about my breathing. Here's an example. So I want you to picture in your brain a square, literally just a square, and start on one corner. And I want you to take a deep breath in. And then I want you to hold it for four. And then I want you to take a deep breath out, and then return your breathing back to normal. So you just drew a square, you're just breathing in a square. Really important to remember, as you do some deep breaths, that you're going to allow your breath to return to normal before you take another deep breath. So let's go through it again. Imagine that square, taking a deep breath in and you're going to hold, you're going to take a breath out and return to normal. Just practicing that rhythm of breathing is a beautiful way to kind of start to enter into this idea of mindfulness and breath work. I have another example. Again, when we're feeling really stressed and overwhelmed, we can be lost in our thoughts. We can be overwhelmed by almost this chatter in our own brain. And sometimes we can almost feel like outside of our body. Imagine a situation where I feel really stressed, right? You know, maybe I'm at work. My boss just sent me an email. There's a deadline that's coming up. My kid has to get to dance. My partner is irritated by something that I did the other night. I'm feeling a lot of panic. My thoughts are zipping through my brain. I'm feeling really overwhelmed. How do I practice mindfulness right in that moment? I want you to practice this. It's called 54321. I'm going to describe it for you.
Dr. Karen Nelson 04:56
I want you to look around and name for yourself. Five things you can see, then I want you to look around. And I want you to touch four different things. The third is I want you to pay attention to three things you can hear, too, I want you to take some deep breaths and notice two different smells. And lastly, I want you to focus on one specific taste. So remember 54321.Five things I can see, four things I can feel, three things I can hear, two things I can smell, one thing I can taste, when I practice that, it that is a beautiful example of a mindful experience, it brings me right back into the moment. So instead of swimming in my thoughts about what's to come, how do I get it done? I'm feeling panicky, I am right in this moment. And then I'm able to proceed in a space of calm, and hopefully a little bit more logic. Those are some really beautiful examples. Being present is really about being right in this moment. You know, you've probably heard this statement before that the only thing that we have a little bit of control over is the here and now. And sometimes we spend a lot of our time swimming and thoughts from the past, or anticipating things that are coming in the future. And both of those events either past or future, I don't have any control over those. What I have a little bit of control over is right in this moment. Mindfulness is really the power of being here and now. And being deliberate about how we're behaving. And thinking and experiencing this moment. Being present takes energy and effort. And being present can be painful. I think that there are a lot of reasons why I may not want to be present all the time, in all the moments, in all the situations. First of all, I want to acknowledge that it's okay, if I don't want to be present and feel all the feelings all the time. And if I spend my whole life, distracting from those emotions, they're not going to go away. Being present is important. And when we have skills that help us tolerate, and manage what it's like to be present, it can make it a little easier.
Dr. Karen Nelson 07:41
The way that I think about the benefit of mindfulness is really about developing a skill. It's a tool to tolerate some of the discomfort that may show up when I'm present in the moment. A practice of mindfulness really can be as simple as working to notice a name your own emotion. And the power of that is really helping us understand ourselves. When our everyday life is bombarded with noise and interruption. When it is surrounded by chatter and talk, it makes sense that I might not even know what I'm thinking or feeling. And when I don't know what I'm thinking or feeling. I'm probably on autopilot. How many times have you gotten in your car? Maybe this is pre pandemic. But how many times have you gotten in your car after work. And before you know it, you're in your driveway. And you think I don't even know how I got here. That is autopilot. The same thing happens in our reactions, in our emotions, in our responses to things in our lives. Imagine the power when I am deliberate. And I start to notice and pay attention what I am really thinking and feeling. Mindfulness is an avenue to bring you there.
Dr. Karen Nelson 09:07
When we are stressed and overwhelmed there is internally something that is happening in our body.
Dr. Karen Nelson 09:14
We talk a lot about it's becoming more common in our culture to talk about the response of fight or flight. When I am stressed my body has a potential to move into fight or flight. That feeling of tightness in your stomach. That feeling of maybe a dry mouth or feeling hot, sweaty, panicky, my heart is racing. Potentially I may be moving into more like a panic situation. When I am stressed. My body is changing physically. When that is happening right there. That is one of the spaces where one of the evidence based treatments for managing some of that distress is breathing.
Dr. Karen Nelson 10:00
There is no one right way to do it. Mindfulness can happen in any moment. In any time, in any space. It can be doing the dishes at your sink and feeling the warm water on your hands. It can be brushing your hair and noticing how that brush feels on the top of your head. And what it feels like as it maybe is pulling through a tangle in your hair. Mindfulness can be sitting in your car, and driving home from work with no radio on noticing how many colors you can see on the trees, and experiencing what the wind feels like on your face. There's no one right way to do mindfulness, you can't do it wrong.
Dr. Karen Nelson 10:44
Working into a place of recovery from an eating disorder is hard work. And it is often attached with a lot of emotion, potentially some distress and discomfort. And those are the spaces that mindfulness can be deeply important.
Dr. Karen Nelson 11:04
I say all the time that recovery is hard.
Dr. Karen Nelson 11:10
Recovery can be uncomfortable.
Dr. Karen Nelson 11:15
And recovery is always worth it. Using mindfulness skills, as we're working on our recovery can be immensely helpful. I want to share a few examples of where or how you might use these skills. Eating disorders are often about moments. They're about feeling urges, and feeling potentially a desire to engage in symptoms. An example of how I might utilize implementing some of these mindfulness skills. Let's for example, say that after a really challenging day, maybe sitting with family, or maybe avoiding engaging with the eating disorder, you come home in the evening, you're feeling stressed and overwhelmed. And you're starting to have some thoughts of potentially engaging with eating disorder symptoms.
Dr. Karen Nelson 12:05
In that moment, that is where you can implement mindfulness. Imagine the power. Rather than choosing to engage in a symptom you engage in 54321. It'll bring you into the present moment. And it will allow you to actively choose how I want to respond to those urges. The eating disorder is in the business of reaction, it doesn't want you to think it doesn't want you to challenge it. It doesn't want you to observe what might happen if you act opposite from it. That is the power of mindfulness. It gives you an opportunity to respond to the eating disorder urges, rather than just react. Imagine that you have just been at a family gathering. And there have potentially been some talk or chatter about bodies or shape or size, you're feeling agitated and irritated. And all that you really want to do is go home and use symptoms. In that moment. That is where mindfulness can show up. Imagine driving home with the radio off. And imagine you're breathing. Imagine as you're driving, you're taking a deep breath in and you're breathing it out. Imagine being present in that moment as you're working to choose if I'm going to engage with symptoms. Remember, eating disorders are emotional. They don't want you to think they don't want you to plan. They don't want you to challenge them. Mindfulness allows you to be present in the moment to choose on what your behaviors will be. Because you and I both know, the eating disorder will never bring you anywhere good. It will not tell you the truth. And it will always change the rules. But you can be powerful when you actively choose to be present in the moment, and to act opposite from what the eating disorder is telling you.
Dr. Karen Nelson 14:20
Now, I'd like to take you through a brief mindfulness exercise. When we are moving through recovery, we can hit moments where we feel overwhelmed or stressed. We may have times in our day that we're feeling anxious or revved up. And using this exercise to center yourself can be really helpful.
Dr. Karen Nelson 14:42
I encourage you in these next few moments to settle in and go with me here.
Dr. Karen Nelson 14:50
May you find yourself either sitting or lying down.
Dr. Karen Nelson 14:55
I invite you to close your eyes.
Dr. Karen Nelson 15:01
I want you to first notice your breath.
Dr. Karen Nelson 15:05
I want you to draw attention to the inhale and your exhale.
Dr. Karen Nelson 15:12
I want you to still your breathing.
Dr. Karen Nelson 15:17
Deep breath in.
Dr. Karen Nelson 15:21
Exhale out.
Dr. Karen Nelson 15:27
I want you to bring your attention to the sounds around you.
Dr. Karen Nelson 15:35
Be curious about what you're hearing.
Dr. Karen Nelson 15:40
As you're noticing the sounds, continuing to breathe.
Dr. Karen Nelson 15:46
Inhale in.
Dr. Karen Nelson 15:50
Exhale out.
Dr. Karen Nelson 15:54
I want you to bring your attention to your body.
Dr. Karen Nelson 16:00
Moving your awareness.
Dr. Karen Nelson 16:03
through your head and shoulders.
Dr. Karen Nelson 16:07
neck and face.
Dr. Karen Nelson 16:12
Noticing if there's any tension or tightness.
Dr. Karen Nelson 16:17
and as you breathe.
Dr. Karen Nelson 16:19
breathing it out.
Dr. Karen Nelson 16:25
Slow and calm.
Dr. Karen Nelson 16:28
steady and safe.
Dr. Karen Nelson 16:35
Welcoming relaxation into your body with each breath in.
Dr. Karen Nelson 16:41
and exhale out.
Dr. Karen Nelson 16:46
Moving your awareness down through your shoulders and arms.
Dr. Karen Nelson 16:52
Noticing if there's any tension in your fingertips.
Dr. Karen Nelson 16:57
As your breath comes in.
Dr. Karen Nelson 17:00
washing away any of that heaviness.
Dr. Karen Nelson 17:05
Exhale out.
Dr. Karen Nelson 17:12
your breath is a bomb as you're moving through your body.
Dr. Karen Nelson 17:17
Your attention is on your chest.
Dr. Karen Nelson 17:23
in your stomach.
Dr. Karen Nelson 17:26
Breathing in peace.
Dr. Karen Nelson 17:30
Exhaling out negativity.
Dr. Karen Nelson 17:38
the calmness of your breath is always with you.
Dr. Karen Nelson 17:44
Breathing in.
Dr. Karen Nelson 17:48
Exhale out.
Dr. Karen Nelson 17:52
Your energy moves through your legs in your hips.
Dr. Karen Nelson 17:57
Your breath washes away any tightness.
Dr. Karen Nelson 18:04
Inhale in.
Dr. Karen Nelson 18:07
Exhale out.
Dr. Karen Nelson 18:14
Your attention moves through your legs into your feet.
Dr. Karen Nelson 18:21
Your breath becomes your companion to look for any tightness.
Dr. Karen Nelson 18:27
and your exhale becomes the release.
Dr. Karen Nelson 18:35
Breathe in.
Dr. Karen Nelson 18:39
And out.
Dr. Karen Nelson 18:49
Breathe in.
Dr. Karen Nelson 18:52
And out.
Dr. Karen Nelson 18:57
Drawing your attention to your body. Noticing if there's any remnants.
Dr. Karen Nelson 19:05
Of tightness.
Dr. Karen Nelson 19:08
Knowing that your breath can release it.
Dr. Karen Nelson 19:16
Experiencing this place.
Dr. Karen Nelson 19:20
And knowing you can come back here any time.
Dr. Karen Nelson 19:30
Breathing in in calm.
Dr. Karen Nelson 19:34
Breathing out in peace.
Dr. Karen Nelson 19:43
Allowing your senses to turn back on.
Dr. Karen Nelson 19:48
Noticing.
Dr. Karen Nelson 19:50
The sounds in the room.
Dr. Karen Nelson 19:54
Feeling your breath in your body.
Dr. Karen Nelson 20:01
Inhale in.
Dr. Karen Nelson 20:05
Exhale out.
Dr. Karen Nelson 20:10
And when you are ready, if your eyes had been closed.
Dr. Karen Nelson 20:15
I invite you to open your eyes.
Dr. Karen Nelson 20:24
Notice.
Dr. Karen Nelson 20:27
Notice how your body feels.
Dr. Karen Nelson 20:32
This relaxed, calm, safe space.
Dr. Karen Nelson 20:37
Is always yours.
Dr. Karen Nelson 20:41
You can come back to it at any time.
Dr. Karen Nelson 20:47
Final breath in.
Dr. Karen Nelson 20:51
Exhale out.
Dr. Karen Nelson 20:58
That's it for today. Thanks for joining me. We've covered a lot. So I encourage you to let it settle and filter in. And as I tell my patients at the end of every session, take notice. Pay attention, and we'll take it as it comes. I'll talk to you next time.
Dr. Karen Nelson 21:16
Melrose heals a conversation about eating disorders was made possible by generous donations to the park Nicolet foundation.