On today’s episode, Dr. Karen Nelson will be discussing the DBT skill wise mind. Karen will take you through what wise mind means, how to practice it and a mindfulness exercise to help you access it.
On today’s episode, Dr. Karen Nelson will be discussing the DBT skill wise mind. Karen will take you through what wise mind means, how to practice it and a mindfulness exercise to help you access it.
For a transcript of this episode click here.
Dr. Karen Nelson 00:02 Eating Disorders thrive in secrecy and shame. It's when we create a safe space for honest conversation that will find the opportunity for healing. Hi there. I'm Dr. Karen Nelson, licensed clinical psychologist at Melrose center, welcoming you to Melrose heals, a conversation about eating disorders, a podcast designed to explore, discuss, and understand eating disorders and mental health. On today's episode, we're going to discuss the DBT skill of wise mind. You'll just be hearing my voice as I take you through what wise mine means, how to practice it, and a mindfulness exercise to help you access it.
Dr. Karen Nelson 00:42 Now, before I begin, I invite you to take a deep breath, and join me in this space. And today's episode, we're going to be talking about a DBT skill. So DBT stands for Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. DBT is a skill based therapy. And this is a similar episode to the one I did on mindfulness. You'll just be hearing my voice and I'll be walking you through a description of a skill and some applicable ways that you can utilize that skill towards your recovery. Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, as I mentioned, is a skill based therapy. It is a therapy that includes four different modules. Mindfulness is one of the modules, distress, tolerance, interpersonal effectiveness, and emotion regulation. All of these modules give us skills in ways to help manage interactions in our life. Our attention today will be on one particular skill called wise mind.
Dr. Karen Nelson 01:51 So what we know about eating disorders is that they absolutely are emotional, they live in our emotion brain. And when we are potentially triggered or overwhelmed by emotion, we may be pushed into utilizing certain behaviors that are not particularly helpful. Hence, eating disorder behavior. One of the ways that DBT skills help us is help us to allow to be more regulated, and they give us opportunities to respond to situations and choose recovery like behaviors. Wise mind very specifically, the scale that we're talking about today. I'll describe it for you. And I will give you some examples of how you may be able to utilize it as you are moving through recovery. Wise mind is the intersection between our emotion mind and our logical mind. Emotion mind is just as it's described, it's emotion. We are emotional beings. It's one of our unique characteristics of humanity. We feel a variety of emotions at many times throughout our life. And throughout the day, we may feel overwhelmed and scared, we may feel happy or excited. And all of those emotional reactions are normal. And part of the human experience. Emotion mind is one of the ways that we can interpret information. logical mind or rational mind is the other way, you know, some people share? Isn't it good to be emotional? Isn't it good to have an emotional reaction to things?
Dr. Karen Nelson 03:38 Absolutely. However, the risk is if I'm only interpreting something through my emotion mind, I may be missing facts or data. I may be overlooking kind of logical responses or facts that are involved in that situation. The other alternative is some people may say, well, then is it better to only interpret things through our logical brain logic is also intimately important. However, if I'm only interpreting something through my logical brain, I am missing the nuance, or the depth or the tone of a situation. Remembering that eating disorders often live in our emotion brain.
Dr. Karen Nelson 04:26 Let's use an example. When I potentially am feeling overwhelmed or triggered, there's a lot of emotion that is present. Imagine I'm on my first day of work. I've never worked at this place before and I'm feeling kind of anxious or even overwhelmed. I'm feeling a lot of kind of energy move through my body. Maybe my stomach is kind of upset, and I'm feeling stressed in that space of all of that emotion, the eating disorder lives. I don't know about you, but I don't really want to feel anxious or stressed or overwhelmed, I want to move out of that emotion. And that is where the eating disorder lives. It often convinces or encourages people to engage in eating disorder behavior to numb out, manage or distract from that emotion. The eating disorder is not logical. The eating disorder does not want you to think the eating disorder does not want you to use your rational brain. Logic is where recovery lives. Emotion is where the eating disorder thrives. Being able to move into a place where I managing my emotion, and tapping into Logic, that is wise mind. And that is where eating disorder recovery lives.
Dr. Karen Nelson 05:53 Wise mind is a balance between managing our emotions, naming our emotions, and then accessing our logic. Think about reacting to something often we react when we're very emotionally triggered. Think about that term reaction. Often, it is suggesting that I might not have thought something all the way through, that I may be responding, or pardon me, I may be reacting because of a big emotional trigger. Let's use an example of you've texted your best friend, and they haven't texted you back. It's potentially moving into 15 minutes, 20 minutes, 30 minutes. Let's explore what wise mind might look like what rational mind might be saying and what emotion mind might look like. I've sent that text to my friend and my emotion mind starts to wander. Maybe I'm going to places have is my friend mad? Are they upset with me? Maybe my friend is hurt? Did I say something to tick them off? They don't like me anymore. I knew this friendship wasn't going to last. Do you see how immediately the emotion mind may be moving down a path that isn't particularly logical.
Dr. Karen Nelson 07:12 If I slow down and breathe and check in with my logical mind, I might be able to check the facts. Checking the facts is actually a term that you potentially have heard your therapist say it's something that I share with my patients all the time. Rather than trusting my emotion mind to determine what might be happening in that situation. Let's check the facts. Let's check in with our logical brain. So not getting a text back from my best friend. If I only trust my emotion brain, I may be thinking they don't like me. They're mad at me. They may be hurt. If I check in with my logical brain, the fact may be Oh, yeah, I think they did have a meeting. And they may be otherwise involved with something else. And I know that when they have availability, they'll text me back. Do you see how being able to acknowledge the emotion and then take a breath, check in with your logical brain. Right there is the intersection. And that is wise mind. Logic is good. Emotion is good. Neither one is all wrong or all bad. What wise mind encourages us is to integrate both. You've had it right. You may have be talking to a partner and sharing an event that happened and you may have a lot of emotion about it. But your partner moves immediately to logic, they might start trying to solve the problem for you or give you recommendations on you know how to find a solution, but you're still in your emotion brain that can feel very invalidating.
Dr. Karen Nelson 08:52 When we appreciate both that intersection not only is wise mind, but it's also beautifully validating to others around us. Having that balance between emotion brain and logical brain can feel challenging at first. One of the ways that we can access wise mind is by slowing down, noticing and paying attention through mindfulness through breathing through deliberately noticing my thinking, that is where wise mind lives. Oftentimes, I'm sure you can relate the pace in speed that we kind of move through this life can feel really overwhelming. We may not even really know what we're feeling or thinking. Emotions may be arising in coursing through my body. Thoughts may be zipping and overwhelming me. Oftentimes we can feel sometimes disconnected from our own feeling or thinking, wise mind and in the path to get there. is through mindfulness is through slowing down, and breathing. It's through noticing and paying attention.
Dr. Karen Nelson 10:08 What I know is that this life has a lot of demands for our attention. We are constantly pushed in pulled into different directions. an eating disorder, recovery takes time and attention and energy. And if I don't slow down, and if I am not deliberate about my thinking, if I am not conscious to what I am feeling, I can easily become overwhelmed and lost. Mindfulness in wise mind is a pathway to keep you centered on your recovery. In attempting to start practicing the skill of wise mind, it can be deeply helpful to start noticing and paying attention. As we mentioned, I say it at the end of every podcast, and it is the pathway to start accessing wise mind noticing what my own thoughts are. I think it's important for me to name I want this noticing to happen through a lens of curiosity. Thinking about my own thinking, can be challenging. It can sometimes come with this internal judgment. And I want to draw your attention that we're going to be focusing on my own thoughts, or focusing on my own emotions, through the space of curiosity, never with judgment, taking a moment to check in with yourself, writing down potentially the thoughts that you may have in your brain, checking in with your body, about what emotions you might be feeling. Take taking a moment to reflect. Again, our life is busy and hectic. And having a moment to slow down and pay attention and focus in can feel hard and foreign. But I promise you, it becomes easier and less uncomfortable. checking in with yourself and naming or noticing the rapid thoughts that may be occurring.
Dr. Karen Nelson 12:17 Some patients find it helpful to have a journal, or log some of their automatic or internal thoughts. Having a moment or creating space at the end of each day to reflect checking in or naming some of the emotions that you potentially have experienced. Never with judgment. Always with curiosity. Our brain thinks 1000s, hundreds of 1000s of thoughts. None of those thoughts are wrong or bad. They're just thoughts. We get to determine what thought or emotion I act on. The power of wise mind helps you be deliberate about what thoughts or feelings I'm going to respond to. Wise mind is the act in the skill of naming, noticing that and then integrating and determining now how am I going to respond? That is powerful. And that is recovery.
Dr. Karen Nelson 13:25 I've shared a lot of information about wise mind, and I want to give you some examples of how you might be able to utilize it. Remember, wise mind is about the intersection between logic and emotion. Being able to name and understand both of those parts of your brain. An example of how to identify the logic part of your brain. I want you to take a journal, I want you to take a piece of paper and create a space to write down your thoughts. Turning off all distraction and focusing in on what you are thinking. Having a space to write down tangibly write down what my brain is thinking. Number one can be eye opening. And number two can be really helpful to structure and organize your own thoughts. Having a journal and creating space to do that is deeply important. Another way to access the skill of wise mind is having an opportunity to check in with your emotion. I'm actually going to be taking you through a mindfulness exercise to check in with emotion.
Dr. Karen Nelson 14:42 In addition to that, again, having a journal to be able to name and be deliberate about noticing what emotion you may be experiencing. I often make this recommendation to parents or family members. Patient instead, I'm working with, you know, emotions can be confusing. And sometimes what's most confusing is I don't even have the words to describe what I'm feeling. I encourage you to literally Google emotion word names. Oftentimes what I talk about with patients is, especially in our families, we may talk about the top four, happy, sad, mad, glad you and I both know, there's so much nuance in emotion. And it's important to have language to describe what I'm feeling. You and I both know, there's a big difference between excited and scared. There's a big difference between content and blissful. Having words to describe what I am feeling is an deeply important process of being able to number one, understand my emotion mind. And there is so much validation that comes when I'm able to label and understand what I'm feeling, it then gives me space to move into wise mind. As I've accurately labeled my emotion. I potentially have understood what my logical brain is saying, and then I intersect the two to arrive at wise mind.
Dr. Karen Nelson 16:24 I'd like to take you through an exercise now that will help you identify in name emotion. It will help you be acutely aware of what is happening in your emotion mind. As we move into this exercise, I invite you to find a comfortable position. I invite you to either have your feet on the floor, or I invite you to lie down. Notice how your body is feeling and begin to settle into a comfortable position. If you are feeling safe, I invite you to close your eyes and begin to breathe. I invite you to focus your attention on your breath. We're going to take a deep breath in and exhale out. As you notice how your body is feeling, I encourage you to bring your attention to any spaces in your body that feel tight. I encourage you to use your breath to release any of the tension you may be experiencing. Deep breath in and exhale out. Being able to label and understand our own emotion is deeply important. I'm going to be presenting to you different emotion words. As you remain in this space of relaxation, of breathing, and noticing. I encourage you to just notice what happens as I present these emotion words to you. Knowing that you are safe, knowing that you can breathe. Knowing that no emotion is wrong. We're going to focus your attention on your body as you breathe. As you stay relaxed as you are safe. The first word I'm going to give you is Joy. Joy as you breathe in. And notice what happens in your body. As you hear the word joy your breathing is calm. Your body is still joy. The next word is lonely, lonely. Breathing and noticing what happens in your body as you hear the word lonely breathing in and exhale out The next word is happy. Happy noticing what happens in your body as you're presented with the word happy is there warmness and release is there tension and longing. Happy. Your breathing will bring you to a place of calm and keep you centered.
Dr. Karen Nelson 20:48 Deep breath in and exhale out the next word is scared, scared. noticing what happens to your body as you're presented with that word. Knowing You are safe here with me, as you hear my voice and being curious what happens to your body as you hear the word scared. Your breath is your regulator. Your breath is your bomb to any tension that you may feel as you breathe in and exhale out the next word is excited. Excited. Allow your breathing to bring you to that place and keep you in that place of calm. As you hear the word excited, noticing what happens to your body. Being curious about that reaction. Knowing you are safe with me as you hear that word excited as you breathe in, you're curious and as you exhale out, you release I invite you to bring your attention to your body and notice how it feels. The next emotion word is yours. You find it name for yourself what emotion you might be feeling.
Dr. Karen Nelson 23:09 No emotion is wrong or bad. No emotion is too big. Notice with curiosity and intention. Notice deep breath in and exhale out. Checking in with your body how it feels in this moment. It's relaxed in a calm state. As you move through being curious about different emotion. Know that you can come here and you're welcomed here anytime your breath is your pathway. Your breath is your regulator. Your breath is always yours final breath in and exhale out and when you are ready if you have closed your eyes I encourage you and invite you to open them and notice emotion mind and the understanding of it happens through awareness in this exercise brings you closer to that space that's it for today.
Dr. Karen Nelson 25:09 Thanks for joining me, we've covered a lot. So I encourage you to let it settle and filter in. And as I tell my patients at the end of every session, take notice, pay attention, and we'll take it as it comes. I'll talk to you next time. Melrose heels a conversation about eating disorders was made possible by generous donations to the park Nicolet Foundation.