On this episode, Dr. Karen Nelson is joined by George Elliott, a registered dietitian at Melrose. The holidays can be a difficult time of year for anybody but for those recovering from an Eating Disorder, this time of year can be incredibly volatile-- with constant stress, triggers, and expectations. Together, Karen and George share their expertise on how to get through this time of year.
On this episode, Dr. Karen Nelson is joined by George Elliott, a registered dietitian at Melrose. The holidays can be a difficult time of year for anybody but for those recovering from an Eating Disorder, this time of year can be incredibly volatile-- with constant stress, triggers, and expectations. Together, Karen and George share their expertise on how to get through this time of year.
Click here for a transcript of this episode
Dr. Karen Nelson 00:00
[Intro accompanied by piano music] Eating Disorders thrive in secrecy and shame. It's when we create a safe space for honest conversation that we will find the opportunity for healing. Hi there. I'm Dr. Karen Nelson, licensed clinical psychologist at Melrose center, welcoming you to Melrose Heals: A Conversation about Eating Disorders, the podcast designed to explore, discuss, and understand eating disorders and mental health. This week, I'm joined by George Elliott. George is a registered dietician here at Melrose. On today's episode, we'll discuss what I think is an incredibly important topic, and one that may impact all of us one way or another. I'm talking about the holidays. For those recovering from an eating disorder, this time of year can be really hard with constant stress triggers and expectations. My hope is that through listening to this episode, you'll not only receive tips on how to deal with this time of year, but the knowledge that recovery is possible. Now, before I begin, I invite you to take a deep breath, and join me in the space. Well, George, I'm so glad you're with us today. Thank you so much for joining me on this podcast, tell me a little bit about your job at Melrose.
George Elliott 01:30
So I, you know, I have what I like to say is one of the best jobs in the world, because I work with the brightest, the best, the smartest people, and that includes my clients that I work with on a daily basis, and the staff I work with on a daily basis, and it's exciting to watch somebody grow and change. And that's what I get to do, you know, people come to me with, again, significant eating issues. And hopefully when they leave, they leave in a just a better position to nourish themselves. So usually I'm either doing your initial assessment or I'm doing your follow up and they look a little differently. Your initial assessment, I'm just going to ask you a lot of questions. And I'm going to try and get some sense of what your day looks like from an eating perspective. And then I'm going to look at like where do you eat? Who do you eat with? How do you eat? Are you a slow eater? Are you very fast paced? I'm going to look for any type of food allergy, food intolerance, family history... Did you know, did your mom struggle at all? I'm going to look at your family dynamics, like how do you talk about food in your household? Who actually does the cooking? Who does the grocery shopping? So very comprehensive. And we work together to create goals for you what you know, what is your overall goal? What are your action plans? How do you want to get there? So it's kind of an exhausting first hour. And then for my follow ups, we are looking more at, again, how was your day. Looking at what you were eating, and then trying to troubleshoot.. you know, okay, that didn't go so well. What would you like to do differently? Or, wow, that went really well. How do you want to build from that, too? So we're constantly taking steps forward. And sometimes we take a few steps back. That's just the nature of recovery, that it's an ebb and a flow and I don't expect perfection. I don't, hopefully you don't expect perfection from me, [laughing] because that's not me.
Dr. Karen Nelson 03:44
It sounds like a lot of information gathering at the beginning. And kind of doing that exploring with your patient around kind of those interactions that happen around food. George, tell me a little bit about some misconceptions that people may have about working with a dietitian?
George Elliott 04:00
Well, I think the first and biggest misconception is that I somehow magically have control of your weight. I don't. Again, our bodies are going to do what our bodies are going to do. Now, can I help guide you with that in terms of... better nutrition? Absolutely. If you're in more of that restrictive eating pattern, and we know you need to eat more? Yes, that is my role. But I really have no control over your weight.
Dr. Karen Nelson 04:28
Absolutely. I think one of the... a lot of feedback that I get from my patients is that the work that they do with a dietitian can feel intense sometimes. Eating Disorders absolutely are about our relationship with food. It's one of the issues, right, is our relationship with food. And so people can potentially feel a lot of hesitation or potentially some fear in having conversations with a dietitian. Help me know what that is like for you, maybe reassure or explain to your patient, kind of your role, or how you might help them in their recovery.
George Elliott 05:05
I like to let my patients know that I'm not going to judge them. And I think food is so personal for all of us that, you know, I'm microscopically looking at what somebody is eating on a meal-by-meal, snack-by-snack basis. And again, I don't want you to judge me. So I am not going to judge you for any of your food choices. There are no rights or wrongs, good or bad about it. So if I can really alleviate that fear in the first, you know, initial assessment, so they know... it's your your food is your food, it's okay with what you're doing, I think that can really help build that relationship between the dietician and the patient. Food means many different things for all of us. Food can be love. Food can be comfort. Food can sometimes be an enemy. And so trying to understand that for someone and letting them know I'm with them on that journey to figure out what that really means.
Dr. Karen Nelson 06:18
Absolutely. I think one of the issues that often comes up, kind of speaking back on that idea of judgment around food, many people share with me as we're kind of exploring their interactions, they kind of have a good food/bad food list in their head.
George Elliott 06:35
Yes. And as a dietitian, we hear that all the time, no matter what arena we are in. "Oh, you're going to take away all the good food from me", or "I can't have that, it's 'bad' for me." And really coming to that understanding that all food fits. No good food, no bad food. And I always use the example of a potato. I would love for you to have french fries. And you might say to me, "But aren't baked potato is better?" "They're no fat, they have better fiber, there's vitamin C, y'know, potassium..." And I'm like, "Yeah, like I can see why you would think that. It's a whole food, it's unprocessed. And sometimes don't you want french fries?" So really having for me that balance of you are going to have some whole foods, whole grains, and you're gonna have some fun foods that you really enjoy and are delicious. And so really trying to break that stereotype of "healthy foods", "unhealthy foods", "good foods-bad foods." You know, we've tended to vilify foods. And foods are really meant to nourish our bodies, and feed our soul. And really coming to that place of understanding that I'm trying to... untangle everything about food that's gotten tangled up for you, in the course of your eating disorder.
Dr. Karen Nelson 08:07
So having a lot of flexibility, and really working with your patients to tailor it to what they need and what their life is, kind of, you know, allowing them to have in that moment. In your experience what have you discovered as far as maybe some of the hesitation in talking about eating disorders?
George Elliott 08:28
You know, I think there's... there remains that stigma about eating disorders. "Why can't you just eat?" It's just not that simple. And so I... as much education I feel has been done, I do feel we know so much more about the struggles that people face when they have an eating disorder, I still think there is that stigma that it's very different than if you have cancer or diabetes, or heart disease. There's, there still is a... the stigma of mental health. And so trying to make it "okay, like, this is your story. And this is how you struggle. And we are here to help you with that." Just as if you were going to see your cardiologist for heart disease. They're there to help you fight that disease. We're here to help you fight this.
Dr. Karen Nelson 09:27
Absolutely. Working in that space of trying to end some of the stigma feels like it continues to be... it's one of the goals of the podcast of really bringing some awareness that these issues are real and they're extremely important to talk about. What, when we think about your beliefs and feelings around diet culture in this country...any, any thoughts or feelings on that?
George Elliott 09:55
[Laughs] How about the thought and feeling that I would like it to end? You know, I have been a dietician for 34 years. And I would like to say "We've come a long way, baby." And I'm not sure we have. I have lived through the vilification of fat. I've lived through the vilification of carbohydrates, the only macronutrient we haven't yet picked on is protein! [laughing] We, for some reason, we seem to like that one. I'm now living through the decade of "sugar is evil". That goes back to my background of "All food fits. Anything in moderation. Variety." We've, we've seem to have lost that with nutrition, it's very much an all or nothing. If some protein is good for you, a lot must be even better. If I should avoid some carbohydrates, I should avoid them all. And I think that's how an eating disorder works in my mind. It works in a very much an all-or-nothing environment. George, I'm either going to eat some fruits and veggies, or I'm going to eat a lot of fruits and veggies. Or I'm either gonna, I'm going to either, you know, have a little tiny bit of carbohydrate, or I'm gonna have a lot of carbohydrate. And I'm trying to have people meet me in the middle. So you know, an answer to your question of, you know, where are we at with the diet culture present day? It's a billion dollar industry. It's still out there. And there's still a lot of misinformation out there.
Dr. Karen Nelson 11:41
I really hear what you're saying about the all-or-none. Many people share that with me, right? That what feels sometimes safe around engaging with a diet is that there's rules around it. And there's a lot of things that are uncertain in this world, and people share with me, "Well, you know, I know... I know for a fact that you know, if I get up and this is what my meal plan should look like, for today, it helps me feel kind of safe." Let's maybe talk a little bit about just, holidays. What comes up for you when you think about that connection between eating disorder recovery and the holidays.
George Elliott 12:18
You know, I do think it plays a significant role for my patients. Because I think holidays in general are stressful. I think having an eating disorder is stressful. So now you're combining somebody that has so many fears and misconceptions and beliefs around food, and you're combining it with a really stressful time with families and friends and all the obligations that start happening. And you know, I always start to probably talk about holiday eating in October when I know Halloween is coming up and then there hits all those other holidays and it pretty much now goes until February. And so it's... I mean if you think about that, that's a pretty significant amount of our year we spend [chuckles] kind of in this holiday mode and this kind of more stressful lifestyle, too. So I try and be preventative, proactive... start having those conversations about holiday eating early on and how is that going to affect you. How is that going to affect your recovery? You know, if you've made really good progress, you know, is Thanksgiving going to be a barrier for you to have you move forward with your eating?
Dr. Karen Nelson 13:36
Very good point. I think what comes up for me when I think about the holidays is some of the confusing messages we get about food around the holidays. You know, we're you know, told to celebrate around maybe Christmas or Thanksgiving or Kwanzaa, those types of things. And then we're immediately told that we need to reduce weight or shift weight or diet. Some magically thing happens, right, as of January 1st, and how confusing that can feel. Especially if I'm trying to work on recovery.
George Elliott 14:08
Yes, I think you bring up a really good point of how that... you're right, that does shift into... you know, if you and I think about the holidays that are coming up, they're all so food-related. You know, candy at Halloween, Turkey at Thanksgiving, Kwanzaa, Christmas, Hanukkah, little... you know there still is very much family food traditions around that. And what do we gather around at those holidays? We gather around the table. Gather around food. And which goes back to one of my initial thoughts of food is love and how do we show our love at holiday time? We feed people. And then what? You're right... then we go into that, you know, kind of new year and be a new you. What if I like the old you? What if I don't want a new you? I like who you are! And I like your eating, who as it is now in your recovery. I don't want a new you.
Dr. Karen Nelson 14:59
Thinking about that... that aspect of regular eating, and then trying to incorporate regular eating around the holidays can be very challenging for people. I'm thinking about all of the festivities that happen. And like you had mentioned celebrations that happen around food. And what have you experienced, as far as you know, interacting with patients, the parts that might feel maybe the most challenging for them, as they're trying to navigate food and the holidays?
George Elliott 15:28
You know, I feel... one of the challenging aspects for patients is all the food that comes out that maybe again doesn't fit into that... Again, what you and I've been talking about. You know, healthy food or good food. You know, I also think it comes out for patients as, "Well, Aunt Jane only makes this sweet potato casserole once a year, and it's my favorite. And I and I know I'm going to overindulge on it, and isn't that bad?" Or, again, "I know there's going to be so much food. I'm going to be so overwhelmed. And I'm either A) Gonna go for it all, or B) Not have any of it." You know, so... it's really working within that context of challenges. Like, okay, where are you going? Who are you going with? How can we support you? Let's use the dietician. Let's you and I get a plan together for the food. I know you're going to talk to your therapist, and you're going to have another action plan for how to deal with all the emotions. But lets you and I make sure we can have that conversation around the food and what's going to be there. Who is going to be there? Where are you going to sit? Who are you gonna to sit with? Do you have a buddy? Have you... have you talked to your grandma about your concerns with the favorite thing she's making? How overwhelmed you'll be? You know, sometimes I will honestly also say to to patients who love a dish, you know, "Do you realize that we can make sweet potato casserole in April?" and "We you know, we can make apple pie... you know, in August? Like, there are other times of the year we can have some of your favorite foods or some of your more challenging foods." And having that understanding around that.
Dr. Karen Nelson 17:23
I really hear you talking about making a plan. And how effective that can be. What we know, right, about eating disorders is they show up in an attempt to manage emotion. And I don't know about you, but when I'm around my family, there's often a lot of emotion. [Laughs] Right? And so that feels very real and realistic to think about "How, how do I prepare?" Maybe share with me some tips that a person may use, who is struggling with an eating disorder as they're moving into one of those family functions around the holidays.
George Elliott 17:57
So I encourage people to be direct. Ask for what they need. You know, if your mom knows that you're struggling, and you're going to grandma's house, talk to your mom. Kind of, try and see if your mom can find out the menu so you can be reassured there's going to be food there that you can choose. If you know that you are going to have a lot of challenge foods I work with you on, you know, maybe you just need to pick one or two. Not every thing on your plate needs to be a challenge. You know, why don't you pick what you've... what you really have been craving or what you really enjoy? And then you can, you know, kind of, again, have some other foods non-challenging on your plate. I also encourage people to just eat normally that day. Your body is not a savings and loan. Do not bank your food. Don't like "Oh George, I'm not gonna eat breakfast or lunch because I know we're going to do dinner and I want to make sure I can eat a lot for dinner. Or, "I want to save those calories." Let's just take the day as a regular eating day. Do what you always do. And at the mealtime, then you're not pressured, you can have the amounts you always would have. So you don't feel like it's overeating or under eating, it's just regular eating.
Dr. Karen Nelson 19:19
Absolutely. One of the things that I will often do with patients when we're talking about this idea of the holidays and how to manage it... like you're saying, they often know who the players are, right? If there's, you know, an Aunt Betty in the room, they know what she's probably going to say before they even show up. And so we will do work around that as well on how to manage those conversations; Maybe how to redirect the conversation. And I wonder if you can also talk about how to potentially manage other people's comments about food. You know for your patient who is walking into Thanksgiving and there may be a lot of comments about "Oh, I ate too much today" from Aunt Jane," or I, you know, "Grandma's really pushing that second piece of pie." How might you encourage your patients to handle that?
George Elliott 20:10
Again, I asked my patients to come up with a couple of good one-liners for what's going to work for them. You know, and again, like, you know... practice it with me. Practice it with your therapist. Practice it in your occupational therapy session. Practice it with your mom. You know, like, again, make sure that you feel like once somebody says, "Oh, you're going to eat that?" you have a good one-liner, you know, come back. And it may be changing the subject... totally changing the subject. I think you have a couple options here: I think you can let the comments just roll, just roll, just roll, just roll. Or you can address it; and it's up to you. And neither is right or wrong. It's really where you're at and what you feel is the best for you. And I have had patients that have just said, "I'm not going. I'm not going to that dinner because I know there are going to be too many food comments." I also think that's your option. I don't feel you're avoiding it. I feel as long as you make other plans to do something with other people that you want to do... I think it's okay to opt out of, of a situation that just isn't going to be helpful for you. You don't enjoy it. And the holidays are also about being able to enjoy the holidays at some point. And if you've been through this time and time and time again, you have options too.
Dr. Karen Nelson 21:32
Well, that idea of potentially breaking some of the family norms, that can feel kind of hard, right? That "Well, we always go to grandma's and we always eat pecan pie." And then you know, "Uncle whatever sits on the couch and talks about how he ate too much." And when I'm in a space of working on recovery, that can feel very, very triggering. And so it sounds powerful to have those conversations about choice... about this may have been the way the family worked prior to my eating disorder recovery, but I might get to change the rules. And those conversations usually can be pretty impactful. It sounds like not only around food conversations, but also those are very much the things that I talk about with my patients: Of we get to kind of create the new rulebook. And it might be a little uncomfortable, but it is very worth it.
George Elliott 22:27
You know, I always say, "You can't change people, you can change your reaction to people." And so to think about that with your food, too. You can't change that Uncle Larry is going to comment about how full he feels. You can change your reaction to that comment.
Dr. Karen Nelson 22:45
Very good point. For sure, I think working in a space of recovery at the holidays is probably... well, all recovery can be challenging. But the holidays are a unique experience because there is a lot of family interaction and a lot of emotion. You know, eating disorders show up in an attempt to manage emotion. And our patients can feel really overwhelmed and trying to do that on a daily basis, but then adding in all of the holiday extras, can feel really, really hard. Any resources or maybe tips that you might give family members, you know, if you know, someone's daughter is struggling and a mom were to come to you and ask, "How can I be the most supportive to my daughter?" any ideas around that?
George Elliott 23:35
I think working in this arena has taught me to be direct. [Laughs] So I think, you know, anytime you can, you can say, "How can I support you? What do you need from me today?" And to me, it's really very simple, easy questions like that. "What do you need from me today?" And then it opens that door for the person struggling to say, "Here's what I need from you today. I just need you to make my plate and hand it to me, and then I'm going to walk away. That's all I need from you." Or, you know, "I just need you to let me portion myself." You know, so, "What do you need?" I also think offering some breathing room to somebody like, "Hey, we're going to eat at noon, just so you know. So if you feel like you need to take a few minutes before the meal just to kind of take those deep breaths, you know, feel free to do that. And here's a space that that you can have to do that." So, if I'm wanting to, you know, if I have someone coming to my house and I want to support them, I want to make sure I cover that. Here's the menu. Here's where you can take a quick break just to get away. If you're feeling overwhelmed, please feel free to go here, step outside. Let me offer you some options.
Dr. Karen Nelson 24:56
What I really hear is having an open conversation about it. That, you know, encouraging your patients to bring it up with family members. Or, you know, if the family member is worried or unsure of if I should bring it up or not? The answer is yes. We really do want to talk about it. I say a lot right with my patients that eating disorders live and thrive in secrecy and shame. It's one of the things that we say at the beginning of the podcast; because it absolutely is true. I think sometimes we assume avoiding something is going to make it better. And actually, it usually just makes it more intense and potentially more awkward. So what I really hear you saying is that the benefit of even just creating the space that we could talk about it... of, you know, "Hey, the holidays are coming up, I want you to know, I'm thinking of ya, let me know if I can do anything for you." That feels really significant, to just open that space for the person to feel like they have permission to express a need. Any ideas about, you know, thinking about this place of, you know, "good-food", "bad-food", as we were talking about how that might show up around the holidays? You know, we talked about, you know, grandma's cake that's only made on Christmas Eve, right? And but, "Uh-oh, what if that's a bad food? Well, can I engage with it?" Any tips on how to manage those worries or concerns?
George Elliott 26:20
I'd say, "It's only one day. It's only one meal. it's, you know... it's, you have done hard things. This is a hard thing. I know you can do this, this hard event. I know you can get through, you know, grandma's cake." I also think I want my patients to know they have choice. And depending on where you're at in recovery, your choice may be to say to me, "I'm having that cake." And I'm going to support you on that. Your choice also may say to me, "I love that cake, and I just don't feel I'm ready to have it." That is your choice. And that's where I might say at that point, like, "Can you talk to your grandma? Could she make that cake some other time when you are ready for it, so it's there?" So I think it's knowing when to push, and it's knowing when to kind of, for me, to back off. And you know... and I always want to say to my patients like, "You want me to push you because that is recovery. If I am not pushing you, you don't need me. I am not gonna live with your eating disorder, I'm going to fight it." So you're right, I think it's knowing when to challenge, when to have that challenge-food at that holiday, and when to say, "You know what? Let's look at some other options for you that are going to feel better for you." You know, and here's, I think, where you can really enlist that support, too if your sister knows that is your favorite item... you know, would your sister be willing to take it and you maybe you want a few bites of it? And just so you, again, you don't feel bad because also my my goal for you at the end of this day is for you to not feel guilty. And that would be my goal for you at the end of any day, quite frankly. But in particular at these family events, when the emotions are so high. You know, my my idea for you is, "You know what, let's let you get through and enjoy this day. And if you need a few bites off your sister's plate, you know, she's willing to share, let's do that. Or share the cake with somebody so you feel like you've kind of challenged the eating disorder, and yet, you're not going to feel so guilty that you're just going to beat yourself up for the rest of the night."
Dr. Karen Nelson 28:28
I think that aspect of kind of remembering not only is it just one day, but we don't have to do it perfect... I think that can, that aspect of perfectionism really shows up. Especially, you know, around the holiday. It's like, "Well, but it only, you know, comes up this one time a year." And you know, "I don't want to be a mess." or "I don't want to start crying." or you know, "People are going to be looking at me. What if I do it wrong?" And you know, reassuring, you know, recovery isn't about perfection, right? It's kind of the process.
George Elliott 28:57
And I think you, you know, I think... Karen, too, looking at intentions for the day and paying attention. So really, what is your intention for that family gathering? You know, is it really just to see your family? And if that's your intention, I think that's really good to talk to your dietician and your therapist about that and then we troubleshoot the meal. You know, maybe you eat before you go, you know? Maybe we know you're gonna eat after. If your intention really is just to spend time with family, let's look at that for you from a nutrition angle how I can support that. You know, if your intention is to go to that family meal and eat, then I can really help you support that, and we are really gonna to troubleshoot that, "What's going to be available? What do you want your plate to look like? What do you wanna do before? What do you wanna do after? How can you distract?" Let's have a really good, deep rich conversation about that.
Dr. Karen Nelson 29:50
Absolutely. Well I think about that aspect of you know, the holidays absolutely, it is about food, right? And that idea that 'food is love' right? That's the way that we kind of... one of the ways that we can connect with family. But also that the holidays are about other things other than food. And when we're in recovery we may get tripped up on this idea that, you know, that Thanksgiving is just about the turkey and the potatoes. And... but actually it's about all those interactions and all the feelings that are generated around that day. And so, you know, that intersection is probably pretty important to explore and talk about. I love that idea that you're saying, what I really hear you saying is, "If there's intention and awareness, you can't do it wrong. You're just going to show up and be." Right? Like, "We don't have to get it right. And I kind of don't want you to get it right." Like, "I don't want you to follow the plan too much," right? There needs to be movement and flexibility. And I think that that can be reassuring. And it sounds like you talk a lot about that with your, with your patients that we don't have to do it just right.
George Elliott 31:02
I'm glad you bring that up because I actually celebrate when it doesn't go so great. Because we don't miss the lesson. Don't miss the lesson in that. And we can talk about that. And it can make for a better event the next time. So I'm actually like, "Cool. Let's... Okay, what went well, what didn't go well? What do you want to work on? That went so well? How can we expound on that? And then what didn't go well? let's look at that." Like, "Maybe this really wasn't about you." [laughing]
Dr. Karen Nelson 31:04
Absolutely. [overlapping}
George Elliott 31:25
"Maybe you did everything you needed to do..." [laughing]
Dr. Karen Nelson 31:35
No kidding! [overlapping]
George Elliott 31:35
"...And it was everyone else that didn't do such a great job." [laughing].
Dr. Karen Nelson 31:40
I love it. I love it. Well, I think too, you know, about the holidays, even if I tried to make a plan, right? Aunt Jane, I mean... she's gonna say something that's probably going to be a little irritating. So I think creating the expectation that it doesn't have to be, "perfect", or, you know, I can go in with the plan, I'm gonna to eat the cake. And then something happens. How do I pivot? And I love what you're talking about, the sometimes when it doesn't go according to plan, that's the space where we probably grow the most.
George Elliott 32:16
Agreed. Agreed. Yes. Like I said, if this was all linear and perfect, you wouldn't need me. You could do it on your own. You know, you need to have the ebb and the flow of recovery, too...
Dr. Karen Nelson 32:26
Absolutely [overlapping]
George Elliott 32:27
You learn so much from that. The good news about all of this is you have plenty of... you have plenty of times to practice. Like I said, it's not that you're just gonna go to one holiday celebration. So the good news is you really can build off of that. And so by the end of the season you might feel like, "Okay, I've got this." And then, you know, kind of get ready then to go into the summer holidays. [laughing].
Dr. Karen Nelson 32:49
Well, good point. The holidays are kind of highlighted, right? But what a beautiful point. There's birthdays, there's...help me... what, what am I...?
George Elliott 32:58
Anniversaries, there's weddings, you know... What are you gonna do when you go to a wedding? Are you gonna be able to eat cake at your daughter's fifth birthday party? How are you gonna manage that? So it truly is... if we think about the big celebrations, they are practice for those smaller events where you still do need to manage your food. I think you bring up a good point about planning. And I think you bring up a good point about flexibility. And I think there needs to be both. And I've heard that a lot with meal plans in general. I... in the past, I've had utilized meal plans, and I had somebody say to me, "Oh, but I didn't eat the cranberry relish because I didn't have a fruit on my meal plan." And I feel like as a dietitian, I just felt like, "Oh, l I let you down because where was the flexibility in that for you? You really wanted cranberry relish and you didn't have it?" [laughs] So yes, you can go in with a plan... And let's also think about the flexibility in that, too.
Dr. Karen Nelson 34:02
Very good point. Anything specifically that you would like our listeners to take away today? When they are moving towards that space of navigating food in the holidays... Any kind of major points you'd like them to leave with today?
George Elliott 34:18
A few thoughts I would reiterate... or a few thoughts I would leave you with is our basic premise of there are no "good foods", there are no "bad foods". All food... fits. Taking the time to enjoy those foods of the season, and also knowing you can have those foods at other times of the year if they're your favorites. I would want my patients to know that they need to plan. Or set their intention. Be mindful. What are they really hoping for of this holiday season? And as you mentioned it doesn't have to be perfect. Let it... let it be what it is and be able to enjoy that. I also would want my patients to know... Enlist help and support. You have such good family and friends around you. They just want to know how to help. And oftentimes they don't know how to help. So just ask them for help. What do you need? What meal do you need support around? Or what event do you want to go to? What events do you not want to go to? Don't feel like you have to do it all. And remember, I want you to eat like you always do. I don't want you to save up your food for the event. I want you to continue just to have a great, great day. Eat your breakfast. Have your lunch, so you can enjoy that time. And again, you know, have good-thinking. You know, I think so often we forget that food fuels our brain. And if we are eating well and taking care of ourself, we're gonna think better, and we're gonna know how to navigate these holidays. And we're gonna know how to ask for help, because we're actually thinking... because we're eating. Yeah, we always talk about how food affects our weight and shape. It affects our thinking and our brain. So let's have that conversation about... Yeah, I need to eat because I have got to deal with Aunt Betty. [Both laughing}
Dr. Karen Nelson 36:30
She takes up some brain space. [laughing].
George Elliott 36:34
For sure! [laughing]
Dr. Karen Nelson 36:34
Such wonderful insight. Such wonderful insight. I appreciate all of those words of wisdom.
[Outro accompanied by piano music] That's it for today. Thanks for joining me! We've covered a lot, so I encourage you to let it settle and filter in. And as I tell my patients at the end of every session, take notice, pay attention, and we'll take it as it comes. I'll talk to you next time. Melrose Heals: A Conversation about Eating Disorders was made possible by generous donations to the Park Nicollet Foundation.